Trust vs Control vs Fear vs Faith

When I find myself feeling a need to control someone or some situation, I realize I don't trust that things will work out without my personal intervention. When my well-being and happiness are at risk, I become vigilant about control. For me, the need to control reflects the absence of trust and the presence of fear.

What am I afraid of? Not being happy. Being hurt. Not having enough. Those are the fears of a toddler, aren't they? When do I graduate from this stage? When do I wake up and see that I am enough and I have enough just as I am? When will I be able to let go and let God in the truest sense of that expression?

Where is my faith when I am busy trying to be in control?

One of my favorite cartoons from the presidential campaign dates from the time when McCain and Palin were accusing Obama of calling Sarah Palin a pig. Remember the lipstick on a pig dust up? Well, there were pundits and prognosticators and bloggers and broadcasters saying that Obama had to do something or else the election might get away from him. Then I saw this cartoon:

Sometimes I think that's the way I am with God. I'm all, "God, feel free to tend to the really important things like healing the planet. When it comes to my life, don't worry, I got this." The truth is that I don't have it. I can only get more and more controlling until I spin out of control. For today, I am willing to take my exhausted little self, place it firmly in God's hands and say "uncle." Okay, God, I give up. You got this.